Mi Clock's Tales, 1st Edition

Well, school has begun. And, with that comes the always entertaining tales of Mi Clock's(a.k.a. Miss Clark's) classroom. I received this little gem in my inbox this morning. As promised, I am sharing it with you. I guess I should also remind you that this is a 9th grade class, so hopefully by their Senior year, the students will have put to use some of the things they learn in her class. My personal favorites are always the Vocabulary Sentences.

Third day of school it was pouring down rain with some sun peaking through. I got, "Eww, teacher! Devil beatin' on his wife. (insert back hand twice) He smackin' the guh around like, 'Pap, pap, nappy!'"

We were talking about their favorite stuff on the first day of school off of their information sheets, and when I didn't know about the movie Paper Soldier, I got, "You know what rotel dip is, but you ain't know bout Paper Soldier."

Boy: What yo type, Mi Clock? I bet you like dose wild men who sit at da bar drankin 40s, smokin weed, and beatin people up. (How did they know?)

Boy: Mi Clock, if you want, you can have your wedding in my backyard. We ain't got no grass, and there's dirt erewhere. But, you still can. But, if somebody get shot, dat ain't my fault. You cain't sue. You know how much your people like to sue.

They had to write an essay on the first day of school about what kind of animal they would want to be and list three reasons why for their three body paragraphs.

Boy: Finally, I would want to be a polar bear to be in soda shows. I could drink Coca Cola all day long.

Boy: Jagwars are so fast, they have a car named after them.

Girl: (My personal favorite thing I've read all year) The second reason I want to be a chipmuck is they're smart. They can read. They do math good. Chipmucks have a good voice. They can dress. In you can see they booty when they run. ("and" for those of you who don't know. It took me a few seconds to realize she was talking about the cartoon characters.)

We were brainstorming about the same essay, when somene said, "Ew! I wanna be a polar bear." Student #2 shouts, "Oh, boy! You know that means you must cain't swim in real life!"

Girl: Eww, boy! Your handwriting sexy! All dose sexy loops and stuff! I wish you'd write me a letter one day!"

Vocabulary sentences(Vocab words in bold):
My brother admonish me not to still out the store.
I look for the code an did I walk. (If you say it aloud, you hear it.)
I hailed the banister down the hole starcase.
I stole some gum, but I felt innocent for some reason.
Verizon be lyin. They say they the most reliable network.
I shot a snub nose 38 and consequently hit somebody.
Kin is innocent tell proven guilty.
Mexicans be clump in a car.
I used to let her imitation my paper.
Mr. Dude I buy shoes from is convenient.
My brother cling to his butt so his pants ain't fall.
She gnaw on her nails, because she need a cigarette.
My stratagem for Halloween is to be good said "Ashley."

For those of y'all who don't know Shreveport, our main high school stadium is Lee Hedges. Journal: Today we have a football game at Lee Headjest.

Here's an ending to the short story, "The Lady or the Tiger?" )If you're not familiar with it, the man has to choose a door with either a lady walking out or a tiger. Then, it just ends. You don't know which one he opens, so most teachers have their classes create their own ending after reading it. Hope y'all are all up to date on your Southern Rap culture. ) "When the door opened, Boosie came out on top of the tiger, yeah!! Den, Soulja Boi came out, den got on da man back and hit him wit a whip, and said yahh!! So den after dat, da woman came and beat him up. It was too funny. You shoulda seen it all in action. But look, the man ain't die thoe, he had to do sum time or apologize to his ole lady. But, she was a gangsta. She ain't want no fony apology, she wanted him to die. He start running from Boosie and Soulja! Then here cum the tiger, so Boosie was tired, he had to stop runnin, cuz yooh kno he ah diabetic. Soulja boi stop runnin and sat down next to Arab, the tiger, and got mad. Arab the tiger got mad and said, "Main, I ain't dat hungry to be chasin dis dude." So the woman ain't have no choice but to take him back." (That is word for word, letter for letter, by the way.)

Another ending to that story: When the man opened up the right door in hesitation, a big breeze of money flew in his face. When he opened his eyes, Plies was coming toward him singing, "I got plenty money. I got plenty money. I got plenty money. I got plenty money." (Plies is a rapper.)

Part of an ending: His heart pounded faster than a track meet.

Ending: So the priest was getting ready for the wedding, and three black escallaides pulled up. Barack Obama came out and gradulated he and his new wife to be. After that, Boosie and Webbie performed.

In another story, Katt Williams came out and gave the princess' lover a pimp makeover.

Girl Journal: I went into my 2nd hour class and did what I was supposed to do. I fell asleep and missed have of my notes. (She's not in my class.)

Creative Writing: I would be married to my awesome husband who has an awesome job. He cuts hair. Many people think that's dumb, but he loves it and so do I. He cuts hair for big people like Mario, Bow Wow, R-Kelly. You know, the famous ones. He doesn't charge much. That's why everyone loves him.